I've been struck this week by the mythical bird that is this city's namesake, the Phoenix. The Phoenix spontaneously combusts as it dies and then rises again from it's own ashes as a new baby bird. The symbolism of this does not escape me for my own life as I have moved to Phoenix. In coming, I decided to die to myself. I left my comfortable, trustworthy, safe, friends and family-filled life in Fort Collins to come here, to the desert. I knew that it would be a form of death to me, to my flesh, to come here, but even being prepared for death it still takes you by surprise.
Don't get me wrong, things have gone amazingly! God has been faithful to welcome me to the church here and to get me a job. He has taken care of me at every turn. But it's still really really hard: The missing of home; the spiritual darkness that met me here; the immensity of the work here that God has sent me to do. My flesh is tested constantly here. And more lies than I'm used to bombard my brain daily and fending them off with the shield of faith takes more diligence than I'm used to. I delight that God has counted me worthy to refine and renew in such a way and that he is with me to strengthen me. And I'm excited to see what he will do with me.
This morning at church we sang the song "Burn for you," by Steele Crosswhite. This line struck me most deeply: "The offered lives of the weakest ones are known to change the world." Lord, I'm weak, but my life is offered to you. Use me and sharpen me however you see fit.
Andrea
ReplyDeleteReally I just wanted to encourage you to keep writing. If for nothing else, for you own sanity. I'm not sure waht it is about writing things down but it helps me organize and just well get thigns out there. I've toyed with the idea of a blog myself mainly because I like to write. Sometimes it is hard though especially if you feel no one is reading and why are you doing this in the first place? But I love stories and I enjoy reading your thoughts and what is going on and for yourself as well I just encourage you to keep writing :)
~Joel
I love that you started a blog! Especially since my journey in writing started much of the same way. To be real with life, with who we are, and what we are struggling with and inspired by. It has been amazing for my life. Come back to that first post often. Read it. Remember it. Cause after awhile you will "settle" into a life again and return to old patterns. I try to let my blogs push me to stick to who I am. And to the I AM. Love ya.
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